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Consorting With Ghosts

by Kitten Magician

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1.
Once there lived a humble nun Who never wanted anything or anyone She forsook all luxury All in the name of Christianity Then there came a fateful day She didn't want to pray They said she'd lost her way Now she feels a feeling strange And deep inside a change Comes rising up She wants to buy stuff She wants to buy A and B and C She wants to buy X and Y and Z She wants to buy stuff Sometimes times can get so tough And sometimes life can get so rough So when the Lord is not enough You gotta buy stuff So she called her friend the monk He too was in a funk for the past several months She, she asked him what to do He said he wished he knew He's yearning too He wants to buy stuff He wants to buy A and B and C He wants to buy X and Y and Z He wants to buy stuff Sometimes times can get so tough And sometimes life can get so rough So when the Buddha's not enough You gotta buy stuff They left their respective cloisters And the world became their oyster No more did asceticism rule their lives They found joy and self expression In material possessions Everybody join your hands with mine and sing I wanna buy stuff I wanna buy A and B and C I wanna buy X and Y and Z I wanna buy stuff Sometimes times can get so tough And sometimes life can get so rough So when the world is not enough You gotta buy stuff We wanna buy stuff We wanna buy A and B and C We wanna buy X and Y and Z We wanna buy stuff Sometimes times can get so tough And sometimes life can get so rough When faith alone is not enough You gotta buy stuff
2.
My imaginary boyfriend My imaginary boyfriend Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care I'll write our initials with a stick in the sand I'll Photoshop a picture of us holding hands Together we live and together we'll die And nothing you say can take away my fictional guy My imaginary boyfriend My imaginary boyfriend Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care I'll have a cupcake for me and another for him I feel him beside me just like a phantom limb We take up two seats when we fly on a plane I don't understand why we get looks of disdain Don't tell me to open my eyes Don't tell me this isn't reality Don't tell me I'm out of my mind 'Cause nobody else is so real to me My imaginary boyfriend My imaginary boyfriend Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care
3.
Manny the, Manny the, Manny the Moose No bigger player around All of the girl mooses' hearts skip a beat When Manny Moose is in town Using his hooves to kick wolves In the woods, he's so smooth You should watch how they swoon Look at him now, take a bow Have a cow, and kapow She'll be over the moon Antlers so silky you'd think they're velour Wait till you try his moose pie He can convince any girl moose to mate With just a look in his eye Using his hooves to kick wolves In the woods, he's so smooth You should watch how they swoon Look at him now, take a bow Have a cow, and kapow She'll be over the moon But when it gets dark In the national park He goes a-creepin' A-sneakin' and a-cheatin' You can count on his lies Just as sure as sunrise 'Cause you know he's always full of bull Moose! Manny the, Manny the, Manny the Moose No bigger player around All of the girl mooses head for the hills When Manny Moose is in town
4.
High school was never the right place for me I've been sleeping through class ever since I was 13 Don't care if I'm not the sharpest tool in the drawer Now that I've found me a guy I adore (Guy she adores) I'll never know if sound waves can travel in space I'll never know if people descended from apes But I know that every time I see his face I love him so, and he'll never know I would give anything to catch his eye If he said a word to me I just might die Hope he doesn't like girls who think they're so smart I know my ignorance will win his heart (Will win his heart) I'll never know how chemicals act on the brain I'll never know that gender and sex aren't the same But I know that every time I hear his name I love him so, and he'll never know I'll never know which side won the Vietnam war I'll never know how President Bush beat Al Gore But I know that as for that guy I adore I love him more than he'll ever know I'll never know if sound waves can travel in space I'll never know if people descended from apes But I know that no one can take my guy's place I love him so, and he'll never know
5.
You've been here so long I've forgotten When this night began and when it ends I just need some space To myself, yeah Even from my best friends Need to be alone Blame it on my nature If you don't leave now You're gonna be in danger Go away, go away, go away, go away If you don't, I'll make you I like your approach Let's see your departure Gonna call the cops And have them deport you Go away, go away, go away, go away Your presence is torture Please just let me be Stop talking Can't hear myself think while You shout You know that it's rude To overstay your welcome Time for you to get out Need to be alone Blame it on my nature If you don't leave now You're gonna be in danger Go away, go away, go away, go away If you don't, I'll make you I like your approach Let's see your departure Gonna call the cops And have them deport you Go away, go away, go away, go away Get out This is not a joke anymore I said, I wouldn't lead you on Can I make it any clearer 'Cause right now you're killing me Time to get gone Need to be alone Blame it on my nature If you don't leave now You're gonna be in danger Go away, go away, go away, go away If you don't, I'll make you I like your approach Let's see your departure Gonna call your mom And have her abort you Go away, go away, go away, go away Get out
6.
I feel like a superior human being I feel like a superior gal I feel like a superior human being Whenever you are around You're all miss and no hit You're all smooth with no grit And you think you're so very cool But when you drop names And play your stupid mind games Well baby, you look like a tool I feel like a superior human being I feel so supremely unique I feel like a superior human being The moment you start to speak You thought you'd get by Without having to try And you'd always appear squeaky clean But now that you've fallen Been sneezed out like pollen You'll get no condolence from me I feel like a superior human being I feel like a superior gal I feel like a superior human being Whenever you are around
7.
I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song It violates the copyright and anyway it's morally wrong So when you hear the ivories tinkle Please don't bear your dinkle And stay the hell away from that pole Don't strip to this song if you have any semblance of a soul (I don't really think that you have a soul) I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song You can bet that you'll regret it and your shame will no doubt be lifelong So when you hear the bass drum thump Please don't bear your rump And take off your high heels lest you fall Don't strip to this song if you have any conscience at all (It's debatable that you have a conscience) I implore you to ignore your exhibitionist urges Though I know it can get pretty tough One minute you're fully clothed Then boom, you're in the buff I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song (Don't strip to this song) I don't care about your hair or what you wear or if you're on Teen Mom (Don't go on Teen Mom) So when you hear the sweet maracas Please don't bear your ta-tas And keep your hoo-hah where it belongs I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song
8.
You can learn a lot of shit from watching TV Such as what candidate to vote for and what views to believe But if there's just one lesson to remember the most It's that the weatherman is always wrong about the East Coast So don't believe What he tells you He won't care if you perish Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing If you rely on the weatherman's lies There's a good chance you'll die of exposure Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing If you believe what the weatherman tells you I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you Weathermen in every city are all the same Poorly done hair plugs to conceal the fact they don't have a brain You know that watching their forecasts is bad for your health You'd do much better just to look outside and see for yourself So don't believe What they tell you They'll stand around while your house blows down Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing If you rely on the weatherman's lies There's a good chance you'll die of exposure Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing If you believe what the weatherman tells you I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you So don't believe What he tells you He won't care if you perish Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing If you rely on the weatherman's lies There's a good chance you'll die of exposure Here comes the rain when it's actually sunny Here comes a snowstorm, oh, isn't that funny If you believe what the weatherman tells you I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you
9.
When you're driving in your car And you don't get very far 'Cause the traffic stops Or there's a bunch of cops Or a brand new coat of tar There's one thing you can do To make yourself feel better Stick your finger out the roof And make an obscene gesture When you're dining with a chap And you'd rather take a nap 'Cause the date's a bore And the waitress pours The rose in your lap There's one thing you can do To make the evening better Stick your finger in her face And make an obscene gesture When your marriage is in shambles And it feels like clearing brambles And your man's an ape And he poached your egg When you said you wanted scrambled Don't just sit and stew Don't let the feeling fester Stick your finger in that egg And make an obscene gesture When you're trying to get some sleep And you're sick of counting sheep And you don't have pills To relieve your ills Nor any tea to steep There's one thing you can do With hardly any effort Lift one finger, close your eyes And make an obscene gesture
10.
Another day, there's heartache all around me Another day, and gloom is all I see I want to lend a helping hand to someone But nobody seems to want my charity There's no point in trying There's no point in trying Whenever I try, I never succeed So what is the use of trying? I want to help my friends resolve their quarrels I want to help my family get along But they say, "girl, this stuff is not your problem," So I go and mope and write a stupid song There's no point in trying There's no point in trying Whatever I say, they never take heed So what is the use of trying? No point in trying There's no point in trying Whenever I try, I never succeed So what is the use of trying?
11.
When the lights go out in this little town They come out to roam the streets Feel them start to warm the lonely hearts Of all the living people they're dying to meet And if there is someone you prayed Would come back to you one day This is your chance to catch one last glance So don't you want to go watching the ghosts? When it's getting late, come watch their ghostly shapes Strolling down along the pier Down below, they're swaying to and fro But they'll all have to go when the morning draws near And if there is someone you prayed Would come back to you one day This is your chance to have one last dance So don't you want to go out with the ghosts? Giddy laughter wanes and the music fades And it's almost getting light Don't hesitate, because it's not too late You know you'll never go if you don't go tonight So if there is someone you prayed Would come back to you one day This is your chance to have that romance So don't you want to go out with the ghosts? And if that someone is fair game and You know that they feel the same This is your chance to get in their pants 'Cause there's no shame in consorting with ghosts
12.
Rest your head and close your eyes For soon the moon and the stars will rise They'll keep their watch the whole night through And no harm will ever come to you Let your dreams take you away To somewhere far from the light of day I'll keep you safe the whole night through And no harm will ever come to you Come to you Come to you Come to you
13.
Someone's gonna love you someday Someone's gonna love you someday You'll learn to be happy someday Was all you were ever told One day you'll wake up to find things have changed So quit trying to live for today Patient, be patient 'Cause your time will come You'll have your day in the sun Your name will be famous someday Your face will be famous someday They're all gonna love you someday Was all you were ever told One day you'll wake up to find things have changed So quit trying to live for today Patient, be patient 'Cause your time will come You'll have your day in the sun We'll love one another someday There'll be no more hatred someday We'll have all the answers someday Was all we were ever told One day we'll wake up to find things have changed So quit trying to live for today Patient, be patient 'Cause our time will come We'll have our day in the sun One day we'll wake up to find things have changed Who knows just how long they'll stay We must be patient 'Cause our time will come We'll have our day in the sun Yeah, we'll have our day in the sun

about

Kitten Magician's second full-length album, "Consorting With Ghosts" shows a development of her sound and identity while retaining the quirky charm of her self-titled debut. "Consorting" draws from 50s pop, hip hop, glam, ragtime, swing, and more, uniting them with clever lyrics and a flair for the absurd. It's impossible to walk away without one of its satirical anthems stuck in your head.

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released October 31, 2013

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Kitten Magician

Solo project 2012 - 2015

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