Consorting With Ghosts

by Kitten Magician

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about

Kitten Magician's second full-length album, "Consorting With Ghosts" shows a development of her sound and identity while retaining the quirky charm of her self-titled debut. "Consorting" draws from 50s pop, hip hop, glam, ragtime, swing, and more, uniting them with clever lyrics and a flair for the absurd. It's impossible to walk away without one of its satirical anthems stuck in your head.

credits

released October 31, 2013

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Kitten Magician

Solo project 2012 - 2015

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Track Name: Wanna Buy Stuff!
Once there lived a humble nun
Who never wanted anything or anyone
She forsook all luxury
All in the name of Christianity
Then there came a fateful day
She didn't want to pray
They said she'd lost her way
Now she feels a feeling strange
And deep inside a change
Comes rising up

She wants to buy stuff
She wants to buy A and B and C
She wants to buy X and Y and Z
She wants to buy stuff
Sometimes times can get so tough
And sometimes life can get so rough
So when the Lord is not enough
You gotta buy stuff

So she called her friend the monk
He too was in a funk for the past several months
She, she asked him what to do
He said he wished he knew
He's yearning too

He wants to buy stuff
He wants to buy A and B and C
He wants to buy X and Y and Z
He wants to buy stuff
Sometimes times can get so tough
And sometimes life can get so rough
So when the Buddha's not enough
You gotta buy stuff

They left their respective cloisters
And the world became their oyster
No more did asceticism rule their lives
They found joy and self expression
In material possessions
Everybody join your hands with mine and sing

I wanna buy stuff
I wanna buy A and B and C
I wanna buy X and Y and Z
I wanna buy stuff
Sometimes times can get so tough
And sometimes life can get so rough
So when the world is not enough
You gotta buy stuff

We wanna buy stuff
We wanna buy A and B and C
We wanna buy X and Y and Z
We wanna buy stuff
Sometimes times can get so tough
And sometimes life can get so rough
When faith alone is not enough
You gotta buy stuff
Track Name: Imaginary Boyfriend
My imaginary boyfriend
My imaginary boyfriend
Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there
You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care

I'll write our initials with a stick in the sand
I'll Photoshop a picture of us holding hands
Together we live and together we'll die
And nothing you say can take away my fictional guy

My imaginary boyfriend
My imaginary boyfriend
Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there
You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care

I'll have a cupcake for me and another for him
I feel him beside me just like a phantom limb
We take up two seats when we fly on a plane
I don't understand why we get looks of disdain

Don't tell me to open my eyes
Don't tell me this isn't reality
Don't tell me I'm out of my mind
'Cause nobody else is so real to me

My imaginary boyfriend
My imaginary boyfriend
Just 'cause you can't see him doesn't mean he's not there
You might say I'm nutty but I really don't care
Track Name: Manny The Moose
Manny the, Manny the, Manny the Moose
No bigger player around
All of the girl mooses' hearts skip a beat
When Manny Moose is in town

Using his hooves to kick wolves
In the woods, he's so smooth
You should watch how they swoon
Look at him now, take a bow
Have a cow, and kapow
She'll be over the moon

Antlers so silky you'd think they're velour
Wait till you try his moose pie
He can convince any girl moose to mate
With just a look in his eye

Using his hooves to kick wolves
In the woods, he's so smooth
You should watch how they swoon
Look at him now, take a bow
Have a cow, and kapow
She'll be over the moon

But when it gets dark
In the national park
He goes a-creepin'
A-sneakin' and a-cheatin'
You can count on his lies
Just as sure as sunrise
'Cause you know he's always full of bull

Moose!

Manny the, Manny the, Manny the Moose
No bigger player around
All of the girl mooses head for the hills
When Manny Moose is in town
Track Name: I'll Never Know
High school was never the right place for me
I've been sleeping through class ever since I was 13
Don't care if I'm not the sharpest tool in the drawer
Now that I've found me a guy I adore
(Guy she adores)

I'll never know if sound waves can travel in space
I'll never know if people descended from apes
But I know that every time I see his face
I love him so, and he'll never know

I would give anything to catch his eye
If he said a word to me I just might die
Hope he doesn't like girls who think they're so smart
I know my ignorance will win his heart
(Will win his heart)

I'll never know how chemicals act on the brain
I'll never know that gender and sex aren't the same
But I know that every time I hear his name
I love him so, and he'll never know

I'll never know which side won the Vietnam war
I'll never know how President Bush beat Al Gore
But I know that as for that guy I adore
I love him more than he'll ever know

I'll never know if sound waves can travel in space
I'll never know if people descended from apes
But I know that no one can take my guy's place
I love him so, and he'll never know
Track Name: The Introvert
You've been here so long
I've forgotten
When this night began and when it ends
I just need some space
To myself, yeah
Even from my best friends

Need to be alone
Blame it on my nature
If you don't leave now
You're gonna be in danger
Go away, go away, go away, go away
If you don't, I'll make you

I like your approach
Let's see your departure
Gonna call the cops
And have them deport you
Go away, go away, go away, go away
Your presence is torture

Please just let me be
Stop talking
Can't hear myself think while
You shout
You know that it's rude
To overstay your welcome
Time for you to get out

Need to be alone
Blame it on my nature
If you don't leave now
You're gonna be in danger
Go away, go away, go away, go away
If you don't, I'll make you

I like your approach
Let's see your departure
Gonna call the cops
And have them deport you
Go away, go away, go away, go away
Get out

This is not a joke anymore
I said, I wouldn't lead you on
Can I make it any clearer
'Cause right now you're killing me
Time to get gone

Need to be alone
Blame it on my nature
If you don't leave now
You're gonna be in danger
Go away, go away, go away, go away
If you don't, I'll make you

I like your approach
Let's see your departure
Gonna call your mom
And have her abort you
Go away, go away, go away, go away
Get out
Track Name: I Feel Superior
I feel like a superior human being
I feel like a superior gal
I feel like a superior human being
Whenever you are around

You're all miss and no hit
You're all smooth with no grit
And you think you're so very cool
But when you drop names
And play your stupid mind games
Well baby, you look like a tool

I feel like a superior human being
I feel so supremely unique
I feel like a superior human being
The moment you start to speak

You thought you'd get by
Without having to try
And you'd always appear squeaky clean
But now that you've fallen
Been sneezed out like pollen
You'll get no condolence from me

I feel like a superior human being
I feel like a superior gal
I feel like a superior human being
Whenever you are around
Track Name: Don't Strip To This Song
I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song
It violates the copyright and anyway it's morally wrong
So when you hear the ivories tinkle
Please don't bear your dinkle
And stay the hell away from that pole
Don't strip to this song if you have any semblance of a soul
(I don't really think that you have a soul)

I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song
You can bet that you'll regret it and your shame will no doubt be lifelong
So when you hear the bass drum thump
Please don't bear your rump
And take off your high heels lest you fall
Don't strip to this song if you have any conscience at all
(It's debatable that you have a conscience)

I implore you to ignore your exhibitionist urges
Though I know it can get pretty tough
One minute you're fully clothed
Then boom, you're in the buff

I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song
(Don't strip to this song)
I don't care about your hair or what you wear or if you're on Teen Mom
(Don't go on Teen Mom)
So when you hear the sweet maracas
Please don't bear your ta-tas
And keep your hoo-hah where it belongs
I hereby declare it forbidden to strip to this song
Track Name: The Weatherman
You can learn a lot of shit from watching TV
Such as what candidate to vote for and what views to believe
But if there's just one lesson to remember the most
It's that the weatherman is always wrong about the East Coast

So don't believe
What he tells you
He won't care if you perish

Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing
Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing
If you rely on the weatherman's lies
There's a good chance you'll die of exposure
Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing
Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing
If you believe what the weatherman tells you
I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you

Weathermen in every city are all the same
Poorly done hair plugs to conceal the fact they don't have a brain
You know that watching their forecasts is bad for your health
You'd do much better just to look outside and see for yourself

So don't believe
What they tell you
They'll stand around while your house blows down

Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing
Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing
If you rely on the weatherman's lies
There's a good chance you'll die of exposure
Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing
Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing
If you believe what the weatherman tells you
I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you

So don't believe
What he tells you
He won't care if you perish

Here comes the sun when it's actually snowing
Here comes the rain when a hurricane's blowing
If you rely on the weatherman's lies
There's a good chance you'll die of exposure
Here comes the rain when it's actually sunny
Here comes a snowstorm, oh, isn't that funny
If you believe what the weatherman tells you
I got a nice bridge in New York to sell you
Track Name: Obscene Gesture
When you're driving in your car
And you don't get very far
'Cause the traffic stops
Or there's a bunch of cops
Or a brand new coat of tar
There's one thing you can do
To make yourself feel better
Stick your finger out the roof
And make an obscene gesture

When you're dining with a chap
And you'd rather take a nap
'Cause the date's a bore
And the waitress pours
The rose in your lap
There's one thing you can do
To make the evening better
Stick your finger in her face
And make an obscene gesture

When your marriage is in shambles
And it feels like clearing brambles
And your man's an ape
And he poached your egg
When you said you wanted scrambled
Don't just sit and stew
Don't let the feeling fester
Stick your finger in that egg
And make an obscene gesture

When you're trying to get some sleep
And you're sick of counting sheep
And you don't have pills
To relieve your ills
Nor any tea to steep
There's one thing you can do
With hardly any effort
Lift one finger, close your eyes
And make an obscene gesture
Track Name: No Point In Trying
Another day, there's heartache all around me
Another day, and gloom is all I see
I want to lend a helping hand to someone
But nobody seems to want my charity

There's no point in trying
There's no point in trying
Whenever I try, I never succeed
So what is the use of trying?

I want to help my friends resolve their quarrels
I want to help my family get along
But they say, "girl, this stuff is not your problem,"
So I go and mope and write a stupid song

There's no point in trying
There's no point in trying
Whatever I say, they never take heed
So what is the use of trying?

No point in trying
There's no point in trying
Whenever I try, I never succeed
So what is the use of trying?
Track Name: Consorting With Ghosts
When the lights go out in this little town
They come out to roam the streets
Feel them start to warm the lonely hearts
Of all the living people they're dying to meet

And if there is someone you prayed
Would come back to you one day
This is your chance to catch one last glance
So don't you want to go watching the ghosts?

When it's getting late, come watch their ghostly shapes
Strolling down along the pier
Down below, they're swaying to and fro
But they'll all have to go when the morning draws near

And if there is someone you prayed
Would come back to you one day
This is your chance to have one last dance
So don't you want to go out with the ghosts?

Giddy laughter wanes and the music fades
And it's almost getting light
Don't hesitate, because it's not too late
You know you'll never go if you don't go tonight

So if there is someone you prayed
Would come back to you one day
This is your chance to have that romance
So don't you want to go out with the ghosts?

And if that someone is fair game and
You know that they feel the same
This is your chance to get in their pants
'Cause there's no shame in consorting with ghosts
Track Name: The Moon & The Stars
Rest your head and close your eyes
For soon the moon and the stars will rise
They'll keep their watch the whole night through
And no harm will ever come to you

Let your dreams take you away
To somewhere far from the light of day
I'll keep you safe the whole night through
And no harm will ever come to you
Come to you
Come to you
Come to you
Track Name: Day In The Sun (Bonus Track)
Someone's gonna love you someday
Someone's gonna love you someday
You'll learn to be happy someday
Was all you were ever told

One day you'll wake up to find things have changed
So quit trying to live for today
Patient, be patient
'Cause your time will come
You'll have your day in the sun

Your name will be famous someday
Your face will be famous someday
They're all gonna love you someday
Was all you were ever told

One day you'll wake up to find things have changed
So quit trying to live for today
Patient, be patient
'Cause your time will come
You'll have your day in the sun

We'll love one another someday
There'll be no more hatred someday
We'll have all the answers someday
Was all we were ever told

One day we'll wake up to find things have changed
So quit trying to live for today
Patient, be patient
'Cause our time will come
We'll have our day in the sun

One day we'll wake up to find things have changed
Who knows just how long they'll stay
We must be patient
'Cause our time will come
We'll have our day in the sun
Yeah, we'll have our day in the sun