The Story of Laurie

from by Kitten Magician

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lyrics

This is the story
of a woman named Laurie
It's a little bit long
It's a little bit gory
There ain't much sex
Or much amore
So if you're still with me
Let me tell you 'bout Laurie

She drove a truck
In the United States
The hours were long but
The work was fast paced
A bladder of steel
Meant she was never late
They said that she could lift
A five hundred pound crate

One day while she was haulin'
Ass to San Fran
She met a little man
by the name of Stan
He said, "Oi, totty,
Come and get with the plan"
So Laurie moved her enterprise
To Engerland

Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry

Now that her tractor trailer
Had become a lorry
She didn't haul coffee
She only hauled tea
She drove that thing
To Milan and Paris
And the Brits were as happy
As a Brit can be

Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry
Laurie drives a lorry

One night while she was carrying
A load of fresh fruit
She came upon a banger
Driven by an old coot
He said "Bloody piece o' shite
Broke down en route.
Won't you let a feller
Put his cargo in yer boot?"

She pulled out a banana
She held it in her hand-a
She shouted "Stop or I'll shoot!

If you're looking for a shag
I'll have you know I ain't no slag
Don't work for no house of ill repute"

Laurie drove the lorry
Laurie drove the lorry
Laurie drove the lorry
Laurie drove the lorry away

One day when she was eighty
And every kind of achey
She realized her mistakey with a yuk
Her heart was filled with shame-a
For she hadn't known the name-a
Of a fundamental area of her truck

Though wizened, old and hoary
So mortified was Laurie
She moved back to the good old USA
Before someone could jail her
She drove that tractor trailer
Into the Frisco Bay

Laurie drove a lorry
Laurie drove a lorry
Laurie drove a lorry
But she don't drive a lorry no more

credits

from The Rainbow EP, released January 3, 2015

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Kitten Magician

Solo project 2012 - 2015

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